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Zika sounds like a brand of water. — 12 Comments

  1. Ted Cruz removed references to the battle at the Alamo from his election stump speech in Texas after it was pointed out to him that although many people with the last name Cruz lost their life in that fight, none were on the same side of the wall as William Travis, Davey Crockett or Jim Bowie.

  2. Forty-eight year old Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson is naked again in “Paper” magazine. Actually, this is just a continuation of the first spread because the magazine wasn’t big enough. Look for Volume 2: The Left Boob.

  3. Sears’ CEO blames Tesla, Uber, and Amazon for sending the retailer to its grave. I blame the Kardashians. Ever since they came on the scene Sear’s underwear catalogue has been nowheresville.

  4. Starting March first J.C. Penney’s will sell some things for just one penny. These so called “Penny Days” will be in stores nation wide except in Ferguson, Missouri, where it’ll be called: Dirty Copper Days!

  5. WABC New York news anchor Liz Cho was busted for yakking on her cell phone and driving her new Beamer with a suspended license and no insurance. She must have been calling WongStar for ‘turn by turn navigation’ on how to parallel park.

  6. Another bad driver…

    Tiger is trying to dispel rumors of his imminent retirement from golf by posting a video of himself swinging on a golf simulator. Too bad he never had a driving simulator that he could use to practice backing a SUV out of a driveway.

  7. Donald Trump wants to build a border wall between the U.S. and Mexico: “In related news, Vegas bookmakers have just made Mexico the favorite for this summer’s Olympic pole-vault competition.”

  8. A woman was caught hiding 1/2 a pound of cocaine in her vagina at JFK Airport. I’m so tempted to make a crack about crack in her crack.

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