I thought earthquakes only happen in California? — 8 Comments

  1. During my last gig in Vegas (yeah, right!), I was given a complementary blonde…”Oh, Will, you are such a sharp dresser. You’re just the coolest dude! I love what you’ve done with your comb-over. Looking good, hunk!”

  2. Hillary Clinton proposed a 4 percent surtax on anyone who earns more than $5 million a year. Donald Trump countered with a “hertax.” One buck every time a woman has a bathroom break.

  3. Talk about a deal-breaker. The Playboy Mansion is up for sale @ $200,000,000, but comes with a wrinkled old dude in pajamas smoking a pipe, who refuses to move out. I was about to move on this deal, too, when I win the Powerball.

  4. Actor John Boyega says the next Star Wars movie will be ‘much darker.’ Must be employing a mostly African American cast.

  5. A 3-year-old North Carolina boy accidentally killed himself with a gun behind the counter of his father’s convenience store. You might ask why didn’t his father have one of those new smart guns that will only fire by the owner. Well, those pistols cost about $1800. Whereas, with insurance, a new kid cost about 99 bucks.

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