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Happy new year! (6 days late) — 7 Comments

  1. I like older women. 90s, rich, close to kicking the bucket. They’re so undemanding in bed and forgetful. “Yesm, you did have an orgasm this month.”

  2. An upstate New York schoolteacher got her DUI tossed out because she suffers from “Gut Fermentation Syndrome.” Means yeast in her intestines turns pasta into alcohol. They figure she got it from those endless breadsticks at Olive Garden.

  3. CEO of Spirit Airlines was suddenly let go. Board of directors won’t say if it was with extreme prejudice. But his golden parachute was a tattered model of questionable quality, and included a $17 ripcord fee.

  4. North Korea claims it successfully tested a miniaturized hydrogen bomb on last Wednesday. And they threatened to unleash it on Hollywood unless MASH is remade with Dennis Rodman as Klinger.

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