JANICE HOUGH says:
This weekend in Lake Placid all living members of the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team will reunite for the 35th anniversary of the “Miracle on Ice.” Meanwhile, in Boston, they are hoping for a “Miracle to get rid of the Ice.
Always Funny
Topical humor from the world's best humorists
Rudy Giuliani says that Barack Obama doesn’t love America. I know for a fact the President’s favorite song is “Horse With No Name.”
The president’s favorite horse is Rafalca, google it…
Jameis Winston appears to have gained some weight. Apparently, he’s been shoplifting fried chicken legs.
“Is Kurt Russell coming?” Nah, his eyes may shiny but he’s barely breathing hard these days.
I dated a Mime for awhile. But we broke up. She and I just never talked.
At the NFL combine, Jameis Winston ran the 40 in 4.97 sec. Rumor has it a he improved his time to 4.55 when a scout gave him a bag of crab legs.
Good one, TC!
Thanks Gary!
Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps is getting married. Funny enough, her name is Mary Jane.
Funny, Bill!
All the Oscar winners are aging. Jack Nicholson is so old his dark glasses have joined AARP. American Association for Retired Peepers.
First Oscars without Joan Rivers on the red carpet. Her replacements were so lame Steve Carell had to tell his wife, ’That dress makes your butt look big.’
The Kardashian sisters hit an icy patch of road in Montana and slid off into a ditch. No one was hurt, thank God, and the girls were able to use their butts as flotation devices.
When I first met my wife, she was wearing a perfume called Poison. 31 years later I torture myself wondering how I could have missed such an obvious clue.
You know how they say “Break a leg” when you go on stage? They might as well say it about your airline seat when you fly economy.
When they hand out the Oscar for Best Short Film, why don’t they get Danny DeVito or Vern Troyer to give it out?