Did you go, Mr. Williams? Mr. Thrill? — 29 Comments

  1. Competitive eating superstar Joey Chestnut devoured 9.35 pounds of turkey off the bone in 10 minutes to win a Thanksgiving-themed eating contest. Kim Kardashian finished a distant second as she would only eat the dark meat.

  2. Rolls-Royce sales are up 24.3 percent compared to last year. To celebrate 2015 will introduce their first dedication model, the “Joe Nathan.” The famous “Spirit of Ecstasy” hood ornament will be replaced with the middle finger.

  3. Weather sites tell you the actual temperature, and a “feels like” temp with the wind-chill factor. Netflix really ought to do same thing with movie running times, providing a “feels like” length for the particularly bad movies. For example, ‘Transcendence’ feels like 14 hours.

  4. A toilet exploded covering a man’s bathroom in feces from floor to ceiling. You know it’s bad when even your toilet rejects food from Taco Bell.

  5. A Chinese man took his young son on an 1,800 mile hike across a brutal desert to build character. Out of habit, the man was suspended for five games by the NFL.

  6. A Rutgers University student took six pictures of a black bear right before being mauled. Apparently, he photographed the bear’s bad side.

  7. Happy Thanksgiving, Friends and Comics!
    A Turducken is a dish consisting of a deboned chicken stuffed into a deboned duck, which is in turn stuffed into a deboned turkey. I can totally relate. My wife looks like she has swallowed two Super Models…

  8. Authorities confiscated a loaded .38-caliber handgun from a 94-year-old Brooklyn man who entered a checkpoint at LaGuardia Airport with the weapon clipped to his belt. In other words, he was hiding the gun under his armpit.

  9. My defense attorney had a lisp. She said my innocent plea involving indecent exposure was an “open and clothed casth.” (Man, jail’s a drag…)

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