Bang! — 14 Comments

  1. A Florida mother has fully recovered after her heart stopped for 45 minutes during a routine surgical procedure. That’s nothing–for three hours last night the Chicago Bears were without a pulse.

  2. Truckloads of Red Bull are reportedly fueling ISIS militants in Syria. In response Barack Obama has announced the US will be arming the Kurds with Monster drinks.

  3. Dolores O’Riordan has been arrested for assaulting an air hostess and police officer. No word on whether the former Cranberries singer was on the sauce.

  4. The Ku Klux Klan is trying to increase membership by recruiting blacks, Jews, and gays. Seriously? That’s like Mensa recruiting members of Congress.

  5. Citing educational opportunities New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio added one hour to the public school day. The downside is less time for extracurricular activities. The upside is fewer robberies at the 7-Eleven.

  6. A Coors Light truck bottomed-out on one of San Francisco’s famous steep hills. It seems the truck was light enough, but the driver ate at McDonald’s.

  7. Chinese leaders thought Vladimir Putin acted too friendly with the Chinese president’s wife during the APEC summit. They felt the Russian leader was Putin the moves on her.

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