JANICE HOUGH says:
A woman was only slightly injured in Florida after she tried to preheat an oven where her friend had stored a magazine from his Glock. And then the heated magazine exploded. Forget background checks for gun owners, maybe we need to start with IQ tests.
A Florida mother has fully recovered after her heart stopped for 45 minutes during a routine surgical procedure. That’s nothing–for three hours last night the Chicago Bears were without a pulse.
Truckloads of Red Bull are reportedly fueling ISIS militants in Syria. In response Barack Obama has announced the US will be arming the Kurds with Monster drinks.
A foul-smelling gas has enveloped Moscow. Putin should never have allowed Taco Bell to open there.
A foul-smelling gas has enveloped Moscow. The gas is so pungent Sarah Palin can smell it from her house.
My wife is an awful cook. Last night she made sugar cookies. With grill-marks.
Dolores O’Riordan has been arrested for assaulting an air hostess and police officer. No word on whether the former Cranberries singer was on the sauce.
Keep wondering if today is the day that Mitch McConnell is recalled by GM as a faulty airbag.
Very good. And topical too.
The Ku Klux Klan is trying to increase membership by recruiting blacks, Jews, and gays. Seriously? That’s like Mensa recruiting members of Congress.
Citing educational opportunities New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio added one hour to the public school day. The downside is less time for extracurricular activities. The upside is fewer robberies at the 7-Eleven.
A Coors Light truck bottomed-out on one of San Francisco’s famous steep hills. It seems the truck was light enough, but the driver ate at McDonald’s.
Chinese leaders thought Vladimir Putin acted too friendly with the Chinese president’s wife during the APEC summit. They felt the Russian leader was Putin the moves on her.
Yeah Gary, it seemed like Putin was certainly “Rushing” things, and then he was going back for more a 1/2 hour later.
A new book claims Jesus had two children. That’s impossible–Jesus was omn-impotent.