Beckham? I hardly know ‘im! — 18 Comments

  1. DrinkMate fits in your smartphone and measures your blood alcohol level when you blow into it. Keeps you from driving drunk. It’s also great for lonely guys who aren’t getting any to hear they’ve had enough.

  2. A 12-year-old girl and her 13-year-old boyfriend have become Britain’s youngest parents and intend to get married. They plan to write their own vows –in crayon–and will have their wedding reception at Chuck E Cheese.

  3. Latest device is the square, smart watch. Geeks are asking, is it a computer, or a philosophy major peeping out of the basement window? 

  4. There was a massive breakout at a juvenile prison in Tennessee. Fortunately, the guards quickly rushed in water cannons loaded with Clearasil.

  5. Tropical storm Norbert has formed in the Pacific off Mexico. With a name like Norbert you know he got a lot of teasing and abuse from the other tropical storms. No wonder he used to be a tropical depression.

  6. Canada’s Dept of National Defense is preparing to buy 12 canine-mounted vests and camera systems for use in operations. So far tests have shown stunning super clear high definition pictures of every fire hydrant within a mile of the dog.

  7. The Broncos Wes Welker was suspended four games for taking amphetamines. It’s the only time you will see Wes Welker and speed in the same sentence.

  8. Werner Franz, the last surviving crew member of the Hindenburg disaster 77 years ago has died at the age of 92. Apparently his last words were: “Oh, the humanity”.

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