At least he can get the WiFi going. — 15 Comments

  1. A 14-year-old who had been missing for 54 hours was found in a Wal-Mart. The whole time he had been in the checkout line.

  2. An Arizona State offensive lineman has come out as gay. His team suspected he was gay when last year he broke the conference record for holding penalties.

  3. A new book suggests that the chemicals in shampoo ruin your hair. Donald Trump has stopped using shampoo and the poodle on his head has developed mange.

  4. How would I describe my wife’s style in 3 words? How about this: Trailer Park Chic. Luckily, she doesn’t read “Always Funny,” so we’re safe.

  5. The great grandson of Aunt Jemima is suing product makers for $2 Billion in royalties. He claims they have been using her image and recipes without compensation since 1937. Following this case closely are families of Sara Lee, Betty Crocker and Tony the Tiger.

  6. Major League Baseball is electing a new commissioner to replace retiring Bud Selig. Names in the running are Rob Manfred, Tom Werner, Tim Brosnan, Mark Attansio & Stuart Sternberg. No word on who Pete Rose has put money on.

  7. “Boo-hoo!” the young wife cried big tears. “You love your big-screen TV more than me!” Hmmmm. Well, plasma IS thicker than water…

  8. The University of Wyoming’s new football coach says he wants more tight ends on his team. Apparently, he’s tired of calling his players “lard butts.”

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