If the robbery takes more than 4 hours… — 13 Comments

  1. Hey, Guardians of the Galaxy! I don’t need to pay $8.00 to watch a raccoon. And that chick, Gamora, was not my cup of tea either, green or otherwise.

  2. A data breach was recorded at restaurant chain P.F Changs. The Secret Service reports that hackers broke in and stole credit card data; then returned again half an hour later.

  3. Ohio senator Bill Patmon wants the BMV to issue commemorative license plates celebrating the return of LeBron James.
    By the numbers:
    23 = each plate starts with this numbers.
    6 = alternate plate number first digit.
    100,000 – amount of expected dollars generated by the program.
    0 = number of residents from Miami driving up to register their cars in Ohio.

  4. To show their commitment to “Sustainability”, The Detroit Lions will be wearing bright green jerseys at practice on Wednesday made out of recycled bottles. Their helmets and pads will be made of parts from broken down Fords.

  5. A North Carolina diner offers 15% discount for praying in public. Double that if you’re praying for the Cubs.

  6. A 23 year old woman named Shantoria Valentine has been arrested for robbing a bank in Omaha. Witnesses say she “shuffled” her way out of the bank and collapsed gasping for air. Her friends say she should have held up a Brinks truck instead, as that would have more her size.

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