Some summer solstice! — 13 Comments

  1. A man walked into a NYC McDonald’s with a knife in his back. He was still better off than those who walked out of McDonald’s.

  2. Kraft issued a recall of its entire Velveeta supply in a dozen states because it didn’t have enough preservatives. That’s like McDonald’s recalling its hamburgers for not having enough fillers.

  3. Kraft recalled its Velveeta from stores in a dozen states, mostly in the Midwest. That means all formal occasions have been cancelled from the Rockies to Pennsylvania.

  4. If guys look “rugged” with a 5-day face of whiskers, why can’t girls look “rustic” with hairy armpits and legs?

  5. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan will apparently reunite briefly on screen in the upcoming movie “Ithaca.” Of course, this time they will both be “Sleepless in Seattle” from getting up in the middle of the night to pee.

  6. Because Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher are getting on in years, the next “Star Wars” movie will be geared toward senior citizens. The title is “The Prune Juice Strikes Back.”

  7. NASA has detected an X-ray signal 240 million light years away. Starting in 2016 under Obamacare, this is where we will have to travel for diagnostic services.

  8. N. Korea said it has tested a ‘breakthrough’ guided missile. Unfortunately, it’s guidance mechanism uses Apple Maps.

  9. Luis Suarez got banned by the FIFA for 4 months and 9 matches after biting an opponent. Suarez has vowed to fight the ban tooth and nail.

  10. An Atlanta couple is accused of locking their 13-year-old son in the basement. They said they were just preparing him for life after college.

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