Quaker Oats has a lot of fiber.

JERRY W says:

90 year old former president George H.W. Bush jumped out of a helicopter moments after he got a close look at his Quaker Oats guy lookalike wife Barbara. When he landed he said he was unhappy that someone had managed to put a parachute on him during his pre-jump nap.


Quaker Oats has a lot of fiber. — 16 Comments

  1. A multimillionaire will referee the US’s first World Cup match. He’s the only referee wielding a yellow card, a red card, and a platinum American Express card.

  2. A man sued a hospital for shortening his penis by an inch. Details are sketchy, but one thing’s for certain–he wasn’t Asian.

  3. Iraq has shut down social media sites like Facebook and Twitter. Well, now the US has a moral obligation to respond to this humanitarian crisis.

  4. A woman was caught on camera trying to smuggle 7 lobster tails in her pants. The incident was the latest in a disturbing trend–last week she had crabs in her nether region.

  5. A Chinese man’s penis got stuck in a pipe and he waited two days to get help. He was embarassed to seek help because his penis got stuck in the mouthpiece of a tobacco pipe.

  6. That’s what I get for marrying a Mermaid. I’ve never even seen her nipples. Those starfish don’t come off.

  7. Danica Patrick may move to Formula One in 2016 when her boss Haas Racing enters a team. F1 really wants a girl driver … They want a girl driver so bad, they’ll even take one who drives like a girl.

  8. A giant Republican orange squirrel is following Hillary Clinton around to mock her. The creature is a composite of John Boehner, Karl Rove, and Donald Trump’s hairpiece.

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