WILL the THRILL says:
My neighbor has an expensive John Deere tractor. This is a status symbol in suburbia. My lawn cutter is more of a John Doe.
Always Funny
Topical humor from the world's best humorists
WILL the THRILL says:
My neighbor has an expensive John Deere tractor. This is a status symbol in suburbia. My lawn cutter is more of a John Doe.
An advertising agency is reviving part of an old ad for a fast food burger chain, the phrase “Where’s the beef?”. Now that old slogan is being used in a new campaign, this time it’s for Viagra.
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Will says that his “lawn cutter is more of a John Doe.” Well, I must have an Ellen Doe because it can eat through the thickest bush.
Scientists are studying how birds like the ostrich and the kiwi evolved into being flightless. One theory is that they charged too many fees.
With jokes as great as these, why aren’t we all living large in LA? Mansions, trophy wives, toupees, cash to burn due to incredible comedy-writing talent???
So many people say they would kill to have my big house that I call it my Charlie Mansion.
You aren’t living like that?
You could sort of live large in Michigan just by returning empty pop (ask a Michigander) bottles or old GE light bulbs.
WILL: “I’m serious!”
JILL: “Ya, seriously strange.”
I lit up and read the Surgeon General’s warning; “Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, and May Complicate Pregnancy.” So I gave up reading.
At 61, I’d be happy to have a mid-life crisis. That would mean I’d live to be 120 1/2 year’s old…
Party on big time, plenty of time for math classes later on.
The makers of a new brand of Japanese cookie claim that women who eat them will see an increase in breast size. If they eat enough cookies, they will also see an increase in the size of their hips and bellies.
Prince Fielder may miss the rest of the season after neck surgery. Apparently, he was injured rubbernecking an accident involving Hostess and Sara Lee trucks.
A naked man was arrested at the White House. Apparently, Joe Biden was off his meds.