I got you, babe. — 10 Comments

  1. A woman drove a minvan into the Atlantic Ocean with three children inside. Following their rescue from the surf, a wave of speculation began about the mother’s motives.

  2. Last Sunday Pope Francis accidentally used the Italian “F” word … But it was OK because he was talking about that “idiota” footballer who bashed his Ferrari with a bat.

  3. The National Milk Board replaced their “Got Milk?” with the younger, hipper, “Milk Life.” FOX News immediately called it a left-wing cow-spiracy to promote a nanny state.

  4. An online report states that US Hockey Olympian T.J. Oshi has moved up to #2 in jersey sales behind #1 Sidney Crosby. As of yesterday, ex-Canuck’s Roberto Luongo gear is #3. Unfortunately, Luongo sales are all at “Everything Under A Dollar” store.

  5. Ukraine’s former president is now hiding out in Russia. He really has the blues — he just lies in bed singing “Crimea River.”

  6. Residents in Indiana were surprised to get warnings about an imminent tornado yesterday. Turns out it was for a tornado that happened last November. Is the Weather Service becoming the Postal Service?

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