BILL WILLIAMS says:
What did Lance Armstrong brag about after winning his seventh Tour de France? That he was on the ball.
Always Funny
Topical humor from the world's best humorists
BILL WILLIAMS says:
What did Lance Armstrong brag about after winning his seventh Tour de France? That he was on the ball.
Eight tech officials, including CEO’s from Apple, Facebook, Yahoo and Google, wrote a letter to Obama and Congress calling for curbs to NSA surveillance. Apparently they want the surveillance left to the corporate sector.
The Chinese have a rover on the moon, and China Press announced the event by saying: “De Dragon has landed!”
The EPA’s highest paid employee has been found guilty of defrauding the government by not working. He convinced gullible EPA officials that he was working on secret missions for the CIA which enabled him to avoid showing up at the office for months at a time. You would think EPA officials of all people would know when someone’s blowing smoke.
Over 1 million Michelin tires have been recalled for rapid air loss. In a related story, over 1 million Dallas Cowboys fans are equally deflated.
A horse slaughter ban was lifted by a federal appeals court. The vote was five yeas and four neighs.
A man in China who had his hand severed in a work accident, has successfully had it re-attached after it was connected directly to his ankle for a month before the operation. He should have worked in a freak show–he would have made money hand over foot.
You can tell when someone’s on a diet this time of year. The don’t have whipped cream on their third piece of pumpkin pie.
“Why does everything have to be sexual with you?” my wife demanded.
“What?” I replied. “I just said I’d like to play Santa and slide into your chimney.”
Keith Richards is 70 this week. “I’ll take – ‘Celebrities we never expected to make it to 40 for $600, Alex.'”
The last thing Dennis Rodman wants to hear from his good buddy Kim Jong Un. “You are like an uncle to me.”
Bids for a George Zimmerman painting have reached nearly $100,000 on eBay. He’s going to make a killing.
Fox News’ Megyn Kelly is in deep doodoo for stating on the air that Jesus and Santa are Caucasian. Makes sense, why else would Bing Crosby be singing that he’s dreaming of a White Christmas?
Good news, Cowboy fans, “Every time Romo throws a pick, an angel gets their wings”.
I drove by a lot advertising “Canadian Paraplegic Christmas trees”. Who wants a tree that can’t walk?