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Change feet! — 21 Comments

  1. Sundays Raiders game has been pushed back to 8:30pm due to the A’s playoff game on Saturday. Supposedly it takes over 24 hours to remove the sewage from the baseball game and replace it with fresh sewage for football.

  2. The US federal government has shut down. “What’s the big deal?, we’ve been shut down for years and are still in business”, said execs for the Jacksonville Jaguars.

  3. T.C., do you know where I can get one of those secret decoder rings that will change sports metaphors into ordinary english? I know that as a sports atheist I could guess at or Google most of what you refer to and eventually get the joke, but there has to be a better way.

  4. A Muslim cleric from Riyadh, where female driving is forbidden, says when a woman drives it forces her pelvis upwards damaging the ovaries, causing birth defects … He should know, his mom won the Indy 500 in 1953.

  5. Even though the National Zoo is closed due to the government shutdown, the animals are still getting fed. But enough about Congress. . .

  6. The Jacksonville Jaguars mascot recently lost a bet to the Indianapolis Colts mascot and got shot with 40 paintballs from a distance of 10 feet. The video is painful to watch, but then again so are the Jaguars.

  7. George Clooney will receive the Shoah Foundation humanitarian award. Unfortunately for his girlfriend, the awards ceremony conflicts with her school’s homecoming dance.

  8. The government shutdown has shut down a KKK rally scheduled for Saturday at Gettysburg. The good news for the Klan is that in two weeks are the Columbus Day white sales.

  9. Jacksonville International Airport in Florida was briefly evacuated Tuesday over “suspicious packages.” No word on what aroused suspicions. Maybe the packages were labeled “Jaguars playoff merchandise?”

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