Diana Nyad might have done better. — 17 Comments

  1. Portland has the world’s only vegan strip club, a place were you can enjoy a striptease and a veggie burger at the same time. Vegans have to be ever watchful though. One dancer tried to sneak a hard boiled egg in for her lunch … I won’t tell you where they found it.

  2. Two pilots on a Transatlantic flight fell asleep at the same time, leaving the autopilot in charge … Flight attendants became suspicious when the autopilot asked for a second glass of WD-40.

  3. A Chinese cook was executed for killing two policemen with his sausage knife … It was a sad case all around, but on a positive note Guy Fieri said the meat just fell off the bone.

  4. Longtime Las Vegas magician John Calvert has died at age 102. He will be buried in a coffin with his head protruding from one end and his feet sticking out from the other.

  5. More than half a billion German Reichsmarks were discovered in a time capsule from 1930 hidden inside an organ in Norway. The only organ to ever yield more wealth belongs to Ron Jeremy.

  6. Surgeons in China have grown a new nose on the forehead of a man who injured his original one in a car accident. Believe it or not, this kind of procedure is not a 21st century medical miracle. When I was in 5th grade, I had a teacher with eyes in the back of her head.

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