JANICE HOUGH says:
CBS News reports that tourists are regularly leaving their leftover marijuana purchases inside rental cars at Denver International Airport, because they don’t want to be arrested when they head home. In related news, Hertz and Avis just reported a 1,000% increase in Colorado job applications.
TERRY ETTER says:
A meteor fell from the sky and caused a fireball that could be seen in most of Virginia and North Carolina. Republicans blamed President Obama’s immigration policy.
GARY BACHMAN says:
Portia de Rossi reportedly recorded fights with wife Ellen DeGeneres. The video shows them dyking it out.
TC in BC says:
A Peruvian woman has stepped forward and claims that beleaguered Canadian senator Mike Duffy is her father. In related news, Walt Disney World resident Goofy is saying he is the son of Rob Ford.
BILL WILLIAMS says:
Smelling farts will prevent cancer, says a study done at the University of Exeter in England. Sounds like the promo for NBC’s newest show, “America’s Next Top Fart Smeller.”